Trigger warning: This blog post contains content related to suicide, which may be distressing to some readers. If you or someone you know is struggling to cope with mental health problems or experiencing thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help using the resources at the end of the article.
Talking about suicide can feel tricky for many of us. Although nowadays there is increased awareness about mental health issues, it can feel “heavy” and overwhelming to talk about someone taking their own life.
In addition to finding it challenging to talk about such a tragic topic, many pervasive suicide myths can add to societal stigma, which we need to break down. People might feel afraid to talk about it, but this only increases difficulty finding help or offering support.
The 10th of September is World Suicide Prevention Day. The 2024 theme is Changing the Narrative Around Suicide. In light of this, in this post, we’ll talk about some of the most common suicide myths and debunk them to help open up the conversation about this taboo topic.
Common suicide myths debunked
With all of the stigma around suicide, it’s not surprising that there are many myths around it. Here are some of the more common ones.
Suicide only happens to people with mental health disorders
Although people with mental health struggles might contemplate suicide, anyone can have suicidal thoughts. When we take a step back and realise that it can affect anyone, it’s easier to see how we all need to educate ourselves about what suicidal ideation means.
When someone is contemplating taking their own life, they aren’t in a rational frame of mind, likely because of the circumstances that brought them to that point. But this can happen to any of us with various unendurable influences in play. For this reason, it’s so important to remove judgment around self-harm and suicide so that we can better equip ourselves with the tools to reach out and receive the proper support; as well as support others if someone we know is struggling.
Talking about suicide will make things worse
Understandably, we can feel scared or nervous about talking to someone who has expressed tendencies towards self-harm or talked about wanting to take their own life. Some people might believe that talking about the subject might place too much emphasis on the very behaviour or outcome that they are trying to avoid.
However, it is the result of suicide being such a taboo topic that we don’t even know how to approach it. While there is a greater global move towards talking about mental health and other taboo issues more openly, in many cultural contexts even mentioning the topic can be problematic.
Therefore, it’s essential to find culturally sensitive and accessible ways to address this social phenomenon. While it might not be possible to have open conversations in certain environments, we can educate ourselves and others about how to speak to someone who is suicidal.
Talking about suicide does help! However, we must discuss this topic mindfully and sensitively, which requires training and ongoing education. World Suicide Prevention Day aims to do just that.
Suicide is selfish
One of the most pervasive myths around suicide is that a person who takes their own life is selfish. However, if we think about what it took for that person to reach that point, we can imagine that the person might have tried to reach out, but no one took them seriously or knew how to help them. Or perhaps they felt helpless and didn’t know how to reach out, or thought that no one would be able to help them. Suicide is usually considered only when someone feels they have exhausted all other possibilities and resources. It can feel like the only option that is left because the current alternative they are facing feels overwhelming and excruciatingly unbearable.
The reality is that when someone is about to take their own life, they have reached a point where their mental state has transcended beyond rational boundaries – which can happen to any of us. While terrifying and very uncomfortable, it’s important to try to empathise with how alone a person must have felt leading up to that moment and in that moment. While we can’t change what has happened, we can try to ensure it doesn’t happen to others.
Suicide is shameful
Research (Sheey, Noureen, Khaliq, Dhingra, Husain, Pontin, Cawley & Taylor, 2019) shows that there is a link between shame and self-harm, which could also be linked to suicide. Thinking about taking your life is not easy to share. However, this shame could be why people may not seek help. It could also contribute to why suicide doesn’t get the attention it deserves as a public health crisis.
Addressing shame by being vulnerable is hard. Openly sharing your suicidal thoughts and feelings can feel terrifying because it exposes you to the possibility of judgement and rejection. It is important to share with someone you trust and feel safe with, even if this is a professional you don’t yet know very well. Sometimes, we may be scared of disappointing and worrying those close to us. Speaking with a professionally trained person, who can hold the space for us and help us find new possibilities we cannot see on our own, can help make sharing a tiny bit less scary.
The more we speak about suicide, the more we become aware of how common it is, which can help alleviate the perception that someone who is feeling suicidal is all alone. You are not alone. Speaking about suicide can not only help you but help to break the silence and encourage others to share.
Public health initiatives and events like World Suicide Prevention Day can all go a long way to debunking myths about suicide and alleviating the shame around seeking help when you feel like you have no one to ask for help.
Seeking assistance
If you or someone you know is struggling to cope with everyday life or experiencing thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help:
- SADAG: 0800 21 22 23 (8am to 8pm) or 0800 12 13 14 (8pm to 8am)
- Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0800 567 567
- South African Federation for Mental Health Helpline: 011 781 1852
You can also empower your knowledge about mental health to learn how to talk more openly about complex topics and manage your mental health, including in crises. For more information, browse our course list.